BearHugs's Datingish

Another Letter

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 03:21:08 GMT

Dear sir,

I'd like to begin by saying that I do not hold you personally responsible for any of the following. I have nothing but high regard for you.

You see, it's not your fault that you're completely irresistible. That your sweet smile and happy manner put everyone around you at ease. Or even your eagerness to help everyone around you-I don't hold any of this against you. It's not even your fault that every time you talked to me, said my name, or touched arm, my heart very nearly leaped from beneath it's safe cavity of ribs. It's not your fault.

So I won't hold it against you either that because I released my heart from its carefully crafted cage and held it out to you with a bashful smile, that you didn't take it. You're too good to take it, and I see that now.

But if you could recommend a surgeon who could fix the damage that I caused myself, it would be greatly appreciated.

Still Yours,
Me

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 03:36:47 GMT

Being single isn't so bad, right?

You're not tied to anyone. You don't have to check with someone every time you want to "go out with the girls". You're not personally responsible for the emotional well-being of another person.

You don't have to hold anyone's hand when it's hot outside. You don't have to give or receive any hugs when you're unhappy. You don't have to share couch space when you watch a scary movie. You don't have anything watching your back to make sure nothing bad happens.

It's not so bad.... right?

Damn.

You have the right to remain hurt.

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:28:58 GMT

Imagine for a moment, if you will, that you and a person you care for have to part ways. Your lives are going in two different directions, and a relationship is just clearly out of the question for the time being. You both declare your perpetuated feelings and share mutual regard for each other.

Fast forward a month or so. Now, you find out that the other person has been hooking up with someone for a couple of weeks now, and you didn't know about it even though you see them several times a week.

How are you feeling at this point? Is feeling a hurt a legitimate emotion even though you weren't together?

"Don't take it personally"

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 03:01:42 GMT

What does that even mean?

It's an excuse for people who are really saying, "I lack the proper anatomical features to possess the courage to own this horrible thing that I've just said, so I'm going to somehow make it better by telling you to turn off your sensitive emotions so I won't feel guilty".

I think that just about covers it.

Does Height Matter?

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:19:57 GMT

One of my biggest pet peeves in the relationship realm is the silly notion that the guy has to be taller, and if he isn't it's "unnatural" and "weird". Lies, I tell you. Lies!

Sure, what girl doesn't like to be wrapped up inside a great big hug and feel small and secure in her man's arms? I realize that it's pretty much every girl's fantasy to be protected by some big and strong guy; but in reality, not every man is 6'3" with a dashing smile and chiseled biceps (and that's okay, because not every girl is a Cinderella with -2 waistline and size 3 shoe).

I may or may not stand at six feet with a little bit of a bias. All of the guys that I've been with have been my height or shorter, and we've both been fine with it. In the end, that's not what matters, so why make a big deal out of it to being with?

Guys, does it bother you when the girl you're with is taller than you? Girls, what about you? Does it bother you if your guy is shorter than you?

Consider this an edit.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:23:37 GMT

So the thing I have about names? Turns out my pseudo-special-someone does, too.

Only I have his ex's name. Both first and middle.

It's sad because I know how much he's hurting from that last relationship, and I know that my name makes him think of her, but I want so badly for him to associate my name with me, and for that to be a good thing.

End moody entry.

"Say my name, say my name"

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 03:12:43 GMT

I have a huge things for names.

I absolutely love it when the guy I care about says my name. It literally sends chills down my spine- it's all he needs to say sometimes, and I'm his.

I also have a strong connection to his name, as well. Whenever I hear my guy's name, I just get excited. My heart skips a beat, and I secretly hope that he's there. Just hearing his name makes me remember how much I care for him, what I love about him, and how much I want to be with him. Unfortunately, this sticks around after the relationship (even if it was just a crush) is over. I'm not sure I ever completely get over it- whenever I hear his name, I'll still think about him, even if it's about someone else.

Do you feel this way about any particular name? How do you react when you hear it?

Dear Good Guy,

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:51:55 GMT

I'm sorry that I've neglected you in the past. You didn't deserve it.

You've been good to me since the beginning: listening, understanding, caring, and kind. I didn't know how good I had it until I realized that I couldn't have it anymore.

You've made me realize who good men are, and what true men can be.

Someday, I hope I find someone just like you.

With love,

The One That Let You Get Away

Manipulation

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 01:05:55 GMT

It's quite possible the worst feeling ever- to have found out that you were manipulated by someone you trust.

It's the worst possible form of betrayal, because not only does the person that you care for betray you, you end up betraying yourself and your standards. Often times you don't or can't see it happen, but you know looking back what a mess it is and how much it hurts.

Have you ever felt manipulated in a relationship? What did you do about it?

I'm not fickle! I'm just indecisive.

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:25:20 GMT

Boy who declared his feelings for me and I have been on curious terms for the past week or so.

He has been incredibly patient with me as I battle with myself in which course of action to take. I've tried to be as honest with him as possible, which has both helped and hindered the process. We've talked for hours at a time about our relationship, all the while I'm fighting an internal war with my conscience. After vacillating for a good 29 minutes, I'll be entirely convinced that we should be together for one whole minute. Then logic comes in, and I second guess myself for another 29 minutes only to conclude that we're better off leaving this alone.

There's so much more going into this than I care to elaborate, but for privacy's sake I won't. I hate keeping him in "suspense" (as he says), but I honestly cannot claim to have the faintest notion of what to do.

My question for you then, dear readers, is what would you do in my situation? Is there any way that you've found helps to make tough decisions?